Friday, March 11, 2011

El Rumor Mill

My sources tell me...

College Basketball
  • Everyone just take a quick second to review the greatness of Kemba Walker. Some would call Kemba's performance "clutch". I just say "he's good at basketball". I'm probably correct in this matter.
  • The game of the century will be played this saturday as the Harvard Crimson square off against the Princeton Tigers on Yale's court. Are we sure these guys are meeting for a basketball game and not the annual Sanderson Regatta? Harvard hasn't been to the tournament since Truman was President and neither team has the prowess of a powerhouse like Cornell to make a Sweet 16 run. So what exactly are they playing for again? The right to probably face someone like Kemba Walker in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Should be a good old fashioned barn burner!
NFL
  • New England Patriots safety Brandon Meriweather looks like he may have busted out some crazy in Apopka, Florida in late February. Meriweather was reportedly involved in a shooting that took place outside of some illustrious watering hole known as the Blue Jeans Lounge. Two men were injured by gunfire, one in the head and the other in the face, and the investigation remains ongoing.

  • In other Patriots news, pretty boy jackass quarterback Tom Brady was photographed bobbing up and down with his pretty new ponytail at Carnaval in Brazil. Not only did he look stupid with the ponytail, but who the fuck wears an Oral-B shirt. They had better be paying him off with a lifetime supply of dental care products and Herbal Essences shampoos for him and Giselle to share in order to make that little sponsorship worthwhile.
NBA
  • Dallas Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle recently referred to his team as "soft" after a late 4th quarter surge by the opposition led to a 93-92 loss to the New Orleans Hornets. Mark Cuban fired back with his own missile crisis of a retort stating, "I just see more and more teams that are taking physical liberties on our guys...". Way to spruce that one up a bit, Mark.
Soccer
  • If the NFL owners and players are unable to come to terms on a new CBA, the NFL should definitely sell the "No Fun League" moniker to the French Football Federation. Cedric Enjorlas, president of FC Borne, was recently suspended for six months by the FFF for making a "joke offer" to Barcelona for lil Lionel Messi. FC Borne is a second division club in a small, regional French league that was seemingly one diminutive Argentinian striker away from a league championship. However, Enjorlas is taking his suspension in stride and reacting similarly to how I would in his situation. "I am going to have to spend three months in the bar". Good man.

1 comment:

  1. FIRSTTTT!!!!
    Remember that "kobe-threw-the-game" tip i gave you last night. hot news.

    ReplyDelete