Sunday, March 20, 2011

Who Would in a Fight: Roger Goodell vs. Tom Brady


Pros:
  1. As the above photo can attest to, Rog's hours days weeks spent in the tanning bed have left him with a leathery exterior capable of repulsing damn near any type of physical attack.
Cons:
  1. His "backup" would be a posse of old, rich white dudes that are much more renowned for their penny pinching than their physical prowess.
  2. A Brooks Brothers suit is rather restrictive fighting attire and will limit his range of motion. 
  3. Would likely choose to recuse himself from any sort of physical altercation for fear he might damage his well manicured coiffure.


Pros:
  1. As the above photo can attest to, Tom is just so goddamn dreamy he has been known to literally stop men and women dead in their tracks.
Cons:
  1. Typically has five to six 300+ lb. dudes guarding him from physical harm. What a fucking pansy!
  2. Any fight he lines up would likely be delayed or called off due to Bill Belicheck trying to illegally videotape and spy on the opponent ahead of time.
  3. Would DEFINITELY choose to recuse himself from any sort of physical altercation for fear he might damage his well manicured coiffure. 

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