Tuesday, April 5, 2011

El Rumor Mill

My sources tell me...

College Basketball
  • It seems there was some confusion last night as Butler and UConn accidentally had their JV teams sent to Houston to compete for the National Title. I take that back. I did just an incredible disservice to all the hard working JV teams out there in the world. Butler Coach Brad Stevens should have nothing to worry about though. It will probably only take him another 34 years or so to return Butler to the promised land that is losing another National Title game.

  • What the hell is going on with all this loyalty with college basketball coaches? First Purdue's Matt Painter turns down a definite upgrade to head to Mizzou and now Shaka Smart has rebuked N.C. State to sign an 8 year extension. What happened to the good old days when coaches like Bob Huggins could show complete disregard for a fan base and bolt from one team to another every one or two years? How dare Matt and Shaka try and restore some sense of honor to college coaching. They should be ashamed of themselves.
MLB
  • The first weekend plus of the MLB season is in the books and your remaining undefeated teams are the defending World Series runners up Texas Rangers and the...Baltimore Orioles?!? And the Red Sox have yet to win a game?!? Either the apocalypse is upon us or we have only played four damn games of a 162 game season. Most fakhin Bastan fans would have you believe it's the former.

  • It looks as if The Beard will be returning to a San Francisco bullpen near you in the not too distant future after completing a 27-pitch simulated game on Sunday. The Giants expect him to come off the DL sometime later this week. The two primary targets to get sent down in order to make room for Wilson seem to be Dan Runzler and Guillermo Mota. Runzler seems to be the obvious front runner to move aside considering his agrecious lack of facial hair, and maybe a little bit because he's already surrendered four earned runs in 2.1 innings pitched.

  • Here is a recent picture of New York Mets coach Terry Collins, taken at the exact moment that he was told my a New York Post reporter that he had actually been hired to coach the New York "Mets" and not the New York "Jets" as he had originally thought. There is absolutely NO WAY to turn a frown upside down after finding out something as tragic as that:

NBA
  • The Miami Heat have seemingly decide that quantity over quality is key when it comes to finding centers for the NBA. The team already has five listed on their roster (Ilgausakas, Dampier, Pittman, Anthony, Magloire) and gave a tryout to Eddy Curry this past weekend. Rumor has it the team seriously considered signing Curry until he tried to get a clause written into his contract that would provide him with three Double Whoppers a day. Talk about a deal breaker.

  • Celtics GM Danny Ainge still looks to have made the best deal at this year's trade deadline, shipping Kendrick Perkins off to Oklahoma City in exchange for backup wingman Jeff Green. The deal really made complete sense on Ainge's part. "We can definitely get rid of Perkins when we have Shaq Diesel waiting in the wings!". Well diesel now runs you about $4.50 a gallon and Shaquille still has yet to leave the Jiffy Lube he entered weeks ago. Don't worry, Danny. I hear Eddy Curry is available.
Soccer
  • According to reports out of Britain, Chelsea striker Didier Drogba is seriously considering a move across the pond to the MLS next year, joining the likes of Thierry Henry and David Beckham to make such a move. The MLS should seriously consider adopting the motto: "A place where Europe's best and brightest come...to sell out and die". Kinda has a nice ring to it.

No comments:

Post a Comment