Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Who Would Win in a Fight: Dennis Rodman vs. Honey Badger


Pros
  1. Willing to fight anyone, any time at any place. Even sweaty, oily Karl Malone in a wrestling ring. That takes guts.
  2. Much like a chameleon, Dennis is a master of disguise. He could pose as the greatest rebounder of all time one second and then transform instantly into a dude that makes Charlie Sheen look mildly sane and rational. Such versatility is key in battle!
  3. When your second autobiography is entitled I Should Be Dead By Now, you've obviously battle tested and resilient. Two very necessary traits in any fight.
Cons
  1. Fumes from years of colorful hair dye jobs have likely caused irreparable brain damage.
  2. Dennis has a certain affinity for donning bridal gowns. If the movie "Runaway Bride" taught me anything, it's that the likes of Richard Gere can be like kryptonite for those donning such garb. If all it takes is the mere sight of a lil Richard Gere to stop you in your tracks, you probably don't stand much of a chance in a physical altercation.
  3. Dude's nickname was "The Worm". Doesn't exactly strike fear into an opponent's heart.


Pros:
  1. Holds Guinness World Record for "Most Fearless Animal". Honey badgers really don't give a shit about nobody. It's pretty badass.
  2. Nothing can stop Honey Badger when it's hungry. Diet of larvae, King Cobra, and bee stings is known in the Animal Kingdom as the "Breakfast of Champions".
  3. Honey Badger get knocked down, but it get up again, you ain't evvvvvvaaaa gonna keep it down!!!
Cons:
  1. None.

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