Monday, June 20, 2011

El Rumor Mill - NBA Draft Edition

The NBA draft is only a handful of days away and boy howdy is it shaping up to be a real snoozer! This is easily one of the worst draft classes of all time with no real franchise shaping game changers in sight. However, that doesn't mean that there aren't still plenty of rumors flying around and rumblings about potential trades. I also can never really turn down a chance to publicly mock Eddy Curry.

My sources tell me...

  • The New York Knicks are apparently scrambling like mad men trying to move up the draft board in order to take BYU product and savior of all mankind Jimmer Fredette. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but my guess is that the Knicks would want to use Fredette for much the same reason the Heat snagged Mike Miller, i.e. a scorer that can take some of the shooting pressure off of their two stars. There are a number of problems with this. First, Jimmer is nowhere near as athletic or seasoned as Miller, and drafting Fredette would vehemently violate the NBA's steadfast policy of not allowing non-Euro white players to play outside of Indiana or Utah.

  • Speaking of Jimmer, how easy is it to compare his situation in the NBA with that of Tim Tebow and the NFL? Both are God fearing collegiate legends with a cult following but no one can really decide what position they will play or how they will pan out as a pro. People couldn't decide if Tebow was a quarterback or a tight end, while people can't decide if Jimmer is a point guard or Mark Zuckerberg.
  • Coming off of their loss in the NBA finals to the Mavericks, I expect Pat Riley and the Heat to try and add some front court size and depth with their only pick at #32 (first pick in the second round). The Heat had a glaring weakness at the center position all season, and got so desperate that they went as far as to waste a few hours back in May working out Eddy Curry. However, this is an extremely weak draft for centers, and the Heat may eventually be forced to try and bring in a guy like Curry to help on the front line, but only after they spend the summer reinforcing the floorboards at American Airlines Arena to cope with the added weight of his immensely fat ass.

  • One thing that this draft is definitely not lacking is international players. The 2011 NBA draft saw a large influx of international players declare, due in large part to the particularly weak crop of collegiate players making their services available. Enes Kanter (Turkey), Jonas Valanciunas (Lithuania), Jan Vesely (Czech Republic), Bismack Biyombo (Congo), Donatas Motiejunas (Lithuania), Nikola Mirotic (Serbia), and Davis Bertans (Latvia) are all likely to go in the first round and certain to have names that will be very funny to watch Charles Barkley try and pronounce.

  • Some of you may have heard the name Jeremy Tyler before. Tyler was an excellent prep prospect that thought college wasn't for him. After originally committing to the University of Louisville in 2008, Tyler later retracted his commitment and decided to forgo his senior year of high school and college altogether in order to sign a contact with European powerhouse Maccabi Haifa in Israel in 2009. At the time, Tyler claimed he was doing it to show the NBA and NCAA were straight up meanies for their institutionalized policy of not allowing super awesome amazing high school players like himself to enter straight into the draft. Tyler would go on to have a stellar career with Haifa that lasted all of ten games and saw him average 2.1 ppg (He would leave the team after his tenth game because he was "homesick"). Tyler spent 2010 playing with Japanese pro league team Tokyo Apache, where he averaged a more respectable 9.9 ppg and 6.4 rpg. Now, Tyler is finally old enough to enter the NBA draft and will likely be a late first round or early second round product. Here is a video from a recent post-workout Tyler had with the Portland media where he had no idea who Trail Blazers head coach Nate McMillan was and even oddly asked, "What college is that?" Stay in school kids. You'll thank me later.

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